Determination vs. Weakness
Today I had a bit of bad news and the old Amy would have felt down and then gone and had crisps, chocolate, biscuits or ice cream. Today I am going to admit, I did get rather down trodden and very emotional, my poor dog had to deal with me all afternoon. However! I did not resort to junk food. I made a choice to stick to plan. I did go to Mcdonald's and order a chicken and bacon salad (only 1.5 syns without dressing or 4.5 syns with Caesar dressing) I have become one of those people who go to Mcdonald's and orders a salad and I felt good...well as good as I could. Don't judge the trip to Mcdonald's...tomorrow is grocery shopping day, my cupboards are bare and my fridge is empty. I have used my syn allowance for the day but on three separately portioned out items so I don't feel bad.
I am however upset with myself for not hitting the gym since Saturday....that's a week tomorrow. I am definitely going tomorrow. Today would have been a good day to go and battle it out at the gym to release my frustrations but I wasn't sure I would be able to hold my emotions in and no one wants to see and crying, sniffling wreck on the floor of the gym.
I think this is a wake up call for me. Time to start putting me first, thinking about me, putting the best me forward. I've been lazing around the house, enjoying my free time, visiting friends and family whenever I wanted and now I need to keep active...I'm going insane.
Plan of action: Hit the gym everyday for at least 30mins if not an hour...except Tuesdays as they are weigh in days and I think you weigh more due to your muscles holding onto the water and lactic acid (probably should stretch more). I am going to push myself and break down that barrier that we all have inside us.
My number one fear is the fear of failure. You can't fail if you don't try. I have tried so many different diets and supplements and playing with weight loss since I was 18. I need to realise, yes its gonna be hard, hell yeah its gonna be painful and wow am I going to ache and sweat but eventually I'll get passed that point of telling myself 'I can't do it, it's too hard or I'm giving it my best shot' while not even breaking a proper sweat. I'm going to sweat and push myself as far as I can.
Step 1: Make a workout play list that I can focus on during the pain! (slight procrastination I know)
Step 2: Layout my gym gear so it's ready and there when I wake up.
Step 3: Light great snack before the gym and brekky after.
Step 4: Limit the amount of time playing on iPad, iPhone and watching TV.
Step 5: Keep active...housework, walking the dog, volunteering and hobbies...plenty to do.
Watch this space. Hopefully I will be back soon to report on my barrier mission.
Oh new things for the day: Stuffed peppers and courgettes, totally yummy!